An Open Letter

All I want to ask myself is do I think that E was kind to me. I asked this because in one of the videos I watched they mentioned how this is a very simple and important relationship rule, with all the stuff nice things about someone and the reasons why you would want to stay with them, there needs to be the answer to the question of them being kind to you. And it seems very straightforward, but when I think about that in conjunction with the technique of considering how I would respond if one of my friends was in the situation I was in and they came to me for advice, it becomes more than I first thought. Yes, she was absolutely kind to me at moments, but at the same time some of the actions that she did were things that even if she did to someone that she does not like, I would think that is still not OK. Like if she had beef with someone that was shitty to her and justifiably upset with them, still several of the things she did I was in crossing line. And so if I think that it’s not OK to do those things to someone she doesn’t like, why do I accept and tolerate those things when she does it to me. I don’t think those things are kind things to do, And I should hold myself to a higher standard of care than I would a random person. And so I have my answer. I already have my answer in different ways, so it’s not like this is some huge revelation, but I do think this does help me both for the future, and also for when my brain wants to come up with more excuses for her.