All I need
I had a pretty shitty day today, I didn’t get enough sleep last night and I had a lot of work. I also had to wake up really early for a meeting. I ended up feeling a lot of dread at the prospect of finding community of dealing with potential loneliness, and I had to remind myself that I’m just tired and the world looks worse than it is. A part of me didn’t want to go to the gym, and I didn’t even take my normal pre-workout, and I wanted to skip the heavy exercises because I just did not feel good. So instead I just absolutely pushed my body to its absolute limits, and I was just doing exercises to hurt in the best way. I was going absolutely to failure, and at some point I even almost passed out from getting so lightheaded afterwards. At one point I had an idea of a photo that made me laugh so fucking hard that I finished my set and then made it and sent it to A. When I got home, I bought him slay the spire 2 and we played that for a while and it was actually really fun playing it multiplayer. And I feel good again. Today was also the two week mark after I broke up with E, and I actually forgot to record a video to myself today. What a weird thing, but I actually do feel like it doesn’t hurt that much to think about. I think I filled myself up with so many experiences that it’s felt like so much longer than it has been, and I feel like I’ve really spent a lot of time processing a lot of the feelings.