An Open Letter

I finally hit an ORM PR today, I had 2 sets of paused bench RPE 7-8 and did two plates + 2.5 lbs on each side. My previous one rep max was 2 plates, so I technically hit a new one rep max! I kind of just wanted to be silly and put something on my Instagram highlights because since starting powerlifting I haven’t hit any one rep maxes because that’s just now how it works unfortunately – so I’m happy to see some sort of progress there.

After I finished my scheduled stuff, I went to do calf raises like I normally do. Behind the machine is the rock climbing section, and I saw E there. I instinctively wanted to wave hi, but since they were talking to some other people I decided against it. I then felt myself filled with a very strange anger, and I wasn’t exactly sure why. I guess I was mad because of the residual feelings of remorse when they didn’t invite me to do it as we had originally planned. I’ve been wanting to go with friends or by myself just to somewhat mentally reclaim it for myself – but I just haven’t really done that.

Arguably more notably, M sent me a message on Reddit and it seemed like they were guilty of what they had done to me. I told them I harbored no resentment against them, and I was completely chilling (because I am). I guess I’m pretty proud of my commitment to facing my issues head-on and not letting them rot. I don’t feel any suppression or resentment left there, I got full closure by myself which I’m proud of.