An Open Letter

Yesterday night I caved, and against better judgment and advice I tried to call A. It went to voicemail immediately twice and I realized she had blocked me. I then tried to call her on Instagram, and then called her on Snapchat after re-adding her. She then responded on Instagram saying that she was at a birthday and so she couldn't call, and told me that she blocked my number because it was too much for her and she couldn't keep herself from responding.

I told her that that I didn't want to leave things how they were and before we never see each other again I wanted to give her a hug and say goodbye. I also told her how I don't blame her for anything and I'm an incredibly thankful I got to meet her, and how I enjoyed our time together. She said similar things, and said she also wanted to say goodbye. Before we could schedule a time she said she had to go, and so sometime today we should be saying goodbye.

The biggest risk I run is expecting anything. She might say something that I don't want to hear, or she might say nothing at all. She might even say that she changed her mind, and she might just block me and not respond. While I was laying in bed, I tried to just accept those things. If those things happen, it will suck, but I feel like no matter what today will be closure. It may not be great, but it will be the end. And no matter what I really do wish her the best and I am thankful for the time we spent together. I learned a lot about myself and I feel like I got to understand love more. There are also a lot of good memories that I will cherish. I feel at peace.