Blessings and curses, and no way to tell them apart
To be honest, being a low BF% fucking sucks. Everything is way more defined and all that but I feel so fucking weak. What's the point of looking muscular, I'd rather be violently strong. I felt a bit disgusted with myself today because I had to drop my weight drastically for bench. I just couldn't do 185x10 for 5 sets. Hell I couldn't do it for 3. Old me would have loved that but present me hates it.
I saw someone leg pressing 5 plates and it wasnt even bad ROM. Comparison really is the thief of joy.
In the least concerning way possible, today became one of those days where I just want to feel pain. I kinda get it now; I guess I feel like if I can control and get used to physical pain then I can control mental pain. I've liked the idea of conditioning, I know my shins hurt a lot and MMA people condition them, so it doubles as making me feel more powerful. I ended up settling for pushing myself harder right now. I always err on the side of caution because I've hurt myself several times before, but today I just kept reminding myself of what I was sick of.