An Open Letter

I think it’s been about a week now where at the end of my shower, I turn it all the way cold and stay in it for around a minute. There have been two big changes, one was playing a song with a verse that I really like or a part that hits and timing it right as the water goes cold, and also sometime’s ill just speak my mind while the shock from the cold hits. Really quickly you get used to the cold, and then once you remind yourself that you are fine and it’s just discomfort, the discomfort goes away surprisingly. I think this is fairly symbolic of a lot of things in life.

The way it typically goes is the dread of doing it, the actual act (which isn’t that bad after the first few seconds), and then the good feelings afterwards. I feel like this is a pattern I see all the time. How many things in my life have caused so much dread and fear, and discomfort at first that I’ve come to love and be thankful for doing. I feel like every meaningful connection in my life has come from just a few seconds of enough blind bravery to get past the anxiety and fear of doing something scary. 20 seconds of embarrassing bravery. And if that’s not enough, then take it 20 seconds at a time. Do that enough until you finally turn the shower off and can’t help but scream and think to yourself “you did it”. I can’t even bring myself to say the showers suck. Because while it’s definitely uncomfortable, it’s a reminder of the potential for a life I’m happy with. A full life, complete with experiences and failures and successes and everything in between. All because I can get over that part of my brain telling me it is afraid of something.