An Open Letter

I just got home from the cosplay rave with friends, and right before we left This guy that was tweaking was about to start a fight With another guy, because the guy protected a girl from him. He was being really creepy and intimidating, and thankfully this guy got between him and a girl. She managed to get away with some help from the crowd, but the perpetrator was incredibly volatile and angry, and was trying to start a fight with the other guy, and I ended up going down there to try to talk with a guy and defuse the situation. I was able to keep them occupied/distracted until security got there and security, escorted him out. I think the guy might have been on steroids, because I will say he was pretty jacked, and he seemed like he was having roid rage. But a little part of it was hoping that this would turn into a fight, and I would get to be able to fight for a good reason. But of course, I went down there to talk with him and empathize useless skills that I’ve learned to negotiate conflict, because of that things did not escalate. And I think those parts of me are fundamentally at odds, there is that part of that wants a situation where I am in a fight, and it is one where I am legally and morally covered. I want to be able to use all of the years of training and show that I am not weak in that sense, but the irrational part of me knows that there are no winners in a fight. I also have nothing to prove. And the best situation is the one that happened, where the situation is de-escalated. And that comes directly at the expense of weird fantasy of combat. And I guess I just wanted to mention that explicitly.