An Open Letter

Hey me, long time no real talk. I feel like I’ve been stuck in this weird small talk phase with myself on this journal, and I’ve kinda hit the point where I don’t really feel guilty for it anymore. After all, this isn’t meant to be a task or a chore so I’m kinda relieved I don’t feel bad about “neglecting” this. I’ve been pretty stressed recently, and right now I’m getting over that cusp of being suddenly overwhelmed and hopefully in the direction of taking action now. This is a little happy milestone, because I guess I used to have the route of being overwhelmed, and then being suicidal and fighting back urges to off myself. Now at least I feel more in power and in control about it, and I have the hope and motivation to do something about it. I have several interviews lined up, varying from smaller companies to things like Meta and Apple. I’m pretty stressed about the big companies since those are both positions for machine learning. I’ve spent the last 4ish years of my life specializing in machine learning, but I’ve only now had the wakeup call that I’m not even close to prepared for what is expected from me for a machine learning interview. It’s like I’m only now finding out about leetcode. I’m pretty afraid I’m going to be honest, I keep finding myself wanting to sit in my comfort zone of solving leetcode questions, but I know I need to just figure out and learn this machine learning technical details as fast as possible. I pray this work out some way or another.