An Open Letter

I hosted a pretty big game night tonight, it was 17 people. I also invited K Along with a couple other new people, and I wanted to see what my friends thought about her because we have been talking for a bit. And she was wonderful as always. I feel like a shitty person because other than some very small things she has been absolutely incredible, and she checks every box I could ask for and I felt a lot of guilt because I didn’t feel that super intense rush of instant connection the way I have in the past with unhealthy relationships. I’m constantly stuck in this speculation loop of wondering if this is properly what healthy love or a start of a relationship should look like, and I feel like today was confirmation that it is true. I feel like I have only seen green flags from her, and she is not perfect, but rather like a realistic unicorn if that makes sense. She has all of the attributes and traits that I had on my list it seems like, and I think she is both kind and emotionally mature. She has a wonderful energy around her, and she kind of makes me feel nervous a little bit in the sense of I want to be my best to give her the best impression possible. I’m gonna talk with my therapist about this and I think I want to ask her out.