In orbit
I had my book club today, and I was passionately, talking and making jokes about the book, and explaining the issues that I found with it. It’s like one of those things where I kind of complain or play it up a little bit and just am generally a very expressive person. This friend is not at all expressive, and she said that I was like really emotional about it, and I kind of felt like I took it as an insult, or like this person thought that I was legitimately mad or upset about this book. I honestly got a little bit defensive, and I reminded them that I’m just doing this kind of for content because I think it’s fun but I really don’t care, I can talk about it in a really bland way and I’m completely OK not talking about it either. But I think it’s just generally more entertaining and fun to be expressive. And I think about how this is a little bit like my general approach to life of trying to keep my energy and enthusiasm up where I can. I feel like I am orbiting my resting state of depression. The more enthusiastic and joking and energetic I am the faster I go, and it stops me from crashing. But if I go too fast, it is also destructive and I lose orbit. And I think this is a fairly good analogy for life. Staying in that sustainable band and orbiting.