An Open Letter

It’s Such a weird thing to have both things exist at the same time. I feel like I am both incredibly weak, and also incredibly small small when I go to my gym gym, and I’m fine with that, mostly because I understand that it is not Necessarily true, but rather just me, mainly noticing the people that are exceptional, whether they are on steroids or whatever else. But that’s also something where I feel like I don’t have an ego about, I recognize there’s always a bigger fish in the pond, and my value does not come from that sense of competition. But at the same time when I’m at home and I am getting ready for bed or something like that and I see myself in the mirror, I am incredibly proud of the physique I have and I think it is incredible, and I wouldn’t believe it if it wasn’t for me progressively seeing this month after month year after year. And I’m very proud of the person I am. I think the really nice part is that my sense of self does not rely on competition in the sentence, but at the same time part of me feels like a lot of dating optimizes for the wrong metrics, and I don’t think it’s accurate towards a happy relationship or anything like that, but it is a relatively well established game that I am not optimizing for, and as a result, I am not winning. And it’s just a weird thing to also exist in that rapper while still having confidence that I am doing the right thing.