An Open Letter

Today was a haunted trail and I brought his friend A, And the first thing he immediately said to me, even though we were in the dark was holy shit you are Jacked, you are like a mountain. He also later made jokes about my protein intake, and didn’t believe it when I said I low-key don’t eat nearly enough. It’s kind of weird that I’ve gone to the point where I am annoyed and sick with my own dysmorphia with how frequently I am saying it and how commonly I am getting this positive feedback.

Additionally, while driving back, I did the bit of saying we should all go in a circle and give people compliments one at a time, with the intention of the bit being after everyone gives me a compliment I say something along the lines of this is boring or let’s do something different and just blatantly Fish for compliments. However, the issue is G started to genuinely give me compliments, and I came clean about the bit,, but they refused to stop and so we spent the entire ride back all taking turns giving one person at a time compliments. And I didn’t at all know how to react, and it was honestly super straining, but also not bad. But I do realize that I really am loved, and I take up a lot of space in my friends minds. If I was to no longer exist, there would be a huge hole in their hearts, not just because of the value I provide, but because of the person I am to them.