Master!
Today I walked, and officially got my master's degree! And with that I am done with school as far as I know. It's really strange and I spent the rest of the day driving down to San Diego after moving out. Throughout the drive I mostly listened to a podcast by Andrew Huberman about relationships and love, and there were so many insights shared between him and the guest speaker. There were plenty of things I wrote down to think about more later, but one right now that's relevant is the state of emotional numbness; specifically how this state is not the lack of emotion but rather the presence of too many. I mention this because I'm not hurting right now, I'm mostly excited for the future and for what the life I get to shape will look like. I'm a bit confused however because I don't think I'm emotionally numb, but at the same time I'm not really sad I guess I expect to be feeling like that. I talked about this earlier with my therapist and she did say that moving doesn't have to be a trigger for depression or sadness but it feels wrong to be experiencing that.
I have my health, plenty of financial freedom, and the massive benefit of uncertainty. I say the last thing, because that is both the most terrifying thing, but also the thing with the most potential. I could have very easily stayed in my old circumstances and have been content enough to not make a change, but instead I am now plunged into it. It's like trying to fix a flawed pottery vase, tweaking it and making a slight modifications without breaking it versus crushing it and restarting. Except I don't even have to crush it because I have the friends that I value with me, but I also have the space for new ones. What an exciting time to be young.