An Open Letter

So I thought I posted an update a bit ago, must not have gone through.

Thank you to all the people who have reached out to me regarding my mental stability, I am doing much better now and am not at risk 🥳🎉

After 8 months I have restarted medication, but no longer SSRI’s or anxiety meds; this time for ADHD! Kinda surprised about it as it all happened relatively fast, but everything clicked and starting treatment has already made life feel completely different. I got prescribed Ritalin, and today was my first day taking it. I was worried I would feel like a superhuman, and be able to focus incredibly well; but in practice I still had to put in effort to focus onto things. The difference was I had a bit more control over my brain, as I noticed I was able to listen to a lecture without having to constantly remind myself to catch back up due to zoning out.

The biggest change however was the mental block feels lifted for doing tasks. I had a box of hangers on the floor that have been sitting for two weeks, I was able to just go open it and hang my clothes. I took a water bottle from the sink and threw it away. I replaced my screen protector. ALL WITHOUT HAVING TO STRUGGLE FOR WEEKS!

These things seem so simple, but things like that have haunted me for weeks at a time, and while I know that they are incredibly easy and trivial, I had a mental block from doing those things. I can’t describe how impossible it was to get myself to do those things, it was completely irrational; yet real. But suddenly, I can just do them! I was able to start some work I’ve been afraid of and putting off for weeks, and when I hit a block, I didn’t immediately get overwhelmed? I was able to learn and continue? Jesus christ this is how life should be. Thank you 10mg of Ritalin!