Missing again
Today I went to the gym and worked from home, and not really any friends were online today. And so I felt lonely. Completely honest, I haven’t felt that way in a long long time. I’m so used to having E there, and I would virtually never have to actually deal with loneliness. I forgot how miserable of a feeling it is. I know that this is just a one day thing, but that feeling of isolation is miserable. I really wanted to almost reach out to her again, partially because some of me feels like she’s also lonely. But that’s probably not the case, and regardless it doesn’t help me at all to think about that. I think I ultimately just need to recognize this feeling, and then let it pass. I do remember however how enticing it is to have a partner that you codependent with. Never having to worry about loneliness is a nice thought. Never having to be alone again. Except that’s not how it works, and it’s almost like saying how alcohol is nice because you never have to feel bad again. I will just make more friends, and it will be OK. And regardless it’s just one day. There are so many other things that I want to do like playing songs on the guitar, creative projects, etc. Oh yeah and reading, I really wanna try reading during the day at some point.