An Open Letter

Wow! What an absolute title out of left field. Let me give a little bit of context to make me negligibly less insane.

I found a new song today: King Park – La Dispute. To summarize the song, it’s a somewhat deep dive into senseless gang violence that caused a kid to be accidentally shot and killed. The song follows the shooter, who eventually gets confronted by the police in a hotel room. The police were afraid to break into the room since the 20-year-old kid who accidentally shot the kid in a drive-by still had the gun with him, and they were fearful of what he would do. They have the kid’s uncle outside the door begging him to come out and telling him how he can be forgiven and make things right with god, and the narrator as a spirit doesn’t go into the room itself to see what’s happening because he feels the weight of murder and is afraid of what will happen. The 7-minute song ends with a tremendous climax – let me just put the lyrics

Then we heard him speak “Can I still get into Heaven if I kill myself? Can I still get into Heaven if I kill myself? Can I ever be forgiven 'cause I killed that kid? It was an accident, I swear it wasn't meant for him And if I turn it on me If I even it out Can I still get in or will they send me to Hell? Can I still get into Heaven if I kill myself?” I left the hotel behind Don't wanna know how it ends

If you feel up to it, I’d highly recommend listening to the song. With all of that poured out of my mind, about the title. Obviously, the death of a kid is a terrible thing. But I was thinking about why I feel that way, and my first guess was because it robs the kid of all of the good parts of life that would come afterward. But to play devil’s advocate – if you saw an addicted gambler at a casino and you had a choice to stop them from playing slots would you? On one hand, you believe that the gambler will eventually lose all of their money and it is a horrible outcome. But also there is a gamble that they could somehow win money in the end, even though it’s unlikely. For me, I think it’s a no-brainer if I had a choice to have them no longer gamble, for their net benefit.

Now if someone truly believes that life is a heavy net negative, for whatever reason, is this not a valid argument? If someone has had a horrible net-negative life, and they kill a kid, could that be potentially done out of pure intentions? Is that not something noble, regardless if it’s moral from our POV. I do believe life is a net positive, but I know and can see the other view, since I used to be there. I think if you believe in hedonism and have any of the countless things that could cause a net-negative pleasure life, then I could see such a thing as a righteous murder.

Let me know what you think in the comments below, oh wait there are no comments. Because this is a blog service I use that doesn’t have a method to add comments. Also because for some reason that makes this all feel performative if I have this be a two-way conversation. If I know that’s the case, then anything I write is under the knowledge that it’s meant to be perceived. At least this way I feel like it’s just another sea of text and thought put down into paper, except for the fact that it’s digital and on a website for fucks sake. I don’t get where this cognitive disconnect happens, since this is somewhat done for others, otherwise, why would I have this on a public website tied to my discord bio? I asked my unconscious this question and other than a faint, flawed thought I came up with nothing. I’m glad I can ask myself things like this.