An Open Letter

I was watching a video while driving home (listening) And he was talking about how negativity bias is an incredibly potent thing in dating. Specifically he characterized flirting as trying to have as much plausible deniability as possible, and that comes with a lot of ambiguity. If you view dating as 10% explicitly positive, 10% explicitly negative, and the other 80% as ambiguous, if you predispose yourself to believing that things are negative, you end up with a weirdly self fulfilling prophecy. And I think about that in recent time, because in the past when I was way less secure with myself and happy with the person that I am, if I receive some kind of an ambiguous signal, I would take it as just general niceness out of potentially pity, and I would turn into almost evidence that I could not be wanted. And that would then lead to even worse outcomes in the long run. But now, I think it’s fair to say that I have not received too many explicit indications of people being interested in me, I definitely have received a fairly significant amount of explicit interest, but a lot of it is vague. A lot of it is me kind of just giggling and going she want me FR, and I know for a fact that not all of that is necessarily real. But I also do think that it’s served its purpose in a way unintentionally, because I really do believe that I am desirable now which I’m really thankful for.