An Open Letter

I think That in the future I don’t want to date someone that has an E dating history. I don’t blame anyone for doing it, but Maybe it’s just a mixture of my trust issues, or a healthy apprehension to that whole subculture, but I think I very much want my future partner to be someone who is comfortable without the need for external validation so heavily, as I think shows up in edating communities. I think it’s OK if someone has a past, but as long as it is genuinely that – a past. I don’t want to worry about unresolved knock on effects from that, or someone who is just immediately masked the symptom without addressing the problem. I want my future relationships to be ones where I feel completely secure and don’t have reasonable doubt or worry. Almost immediately in my relationship with E she had made a friend that she gamed with, and they would call and message separately. One day he asked her about dating and she said she would stop talking to him, and then when we had an argument later and we took a little bit of space she broke down and talk to him and entertained him. That immediately almost ruined the relationship, and I think in the future I should absolutely run if those signs show up. Thankfully she was faithful, but I think I don’t ever want to be in that situation again where I’m having nightmares and worried about her talking with ex partners, because she’s still continuing to hide them through the relationship. I don’t want to worry about how candidly she talks about these things from her past in a sense where it doesn’t feel like she actually learned and moved on from them, but rather just told herself that she’s a different person without doing the relevant work. I don’t want to tie my life to someone who is still figuring those things out.