On Hammers

drinking a beer in a hammock in the sun realizing maybe i don't have to hit myself with hammers every day forever just some or most days

- lakevida on Tumblr

A good friend has this post pinned on his Tumblr, and I’ve always read the post but never really felt that it resonated in the way it does now. I was driving back from getting food after the gym today and felt sad for no reason. Sometimes this happens, for fully normal chemical reasons.

In my freshman year, I watched a video explaining the smoke detector theory of depression, where essentially the brain doesn’t think you’re able to handle some issue, so it hides it from you. Because of this, I’ve always been incredibly self-critical in trying to find out the possible things my mind is hiding from me. This has led to a lot of things I’ve learned through life, and a lot of self-awareness; but this has also led to me essentially hitting myself with a hammer every single day I don’t feel happy 24/7. Honestly, I don’t think this is a good way to live.

Maybe I don’t have to hit myself with the hammer every day?