On PhD

Throughout my life since a child, I wanted to do a PhD. But after some experience with research, and rejections, I’ve been really reconsidering it. I’ve gotten this far because I’ve enjoyed what I’ve been doing, but I realized that I don’t enjoy research; because I am no longer inherently good at it. I’ve gotten so used to being good at things, I’m not in love with the journey but rather the destination. I don’t think I can unlearn something I’ve known my entire life soon enough, and so a PhD will most likely be miserable for me.

A big reason I’ve wanted to do a PhD is because my dad has always said it was good, but everyone I’ve talked to reinforces its probably not for me. I want to work in industry, I like the idea of being a software engineer, I don’t really want to do research as much. I don’t really want to be a professor either, so getting a PhD isn’t really too useful.

The only issue is this plan has been something I’ve accepted as fact my entire life, so now it’s like I’m thinking about the future for the first time, and I’m afraid.