On the verge of eepy
Oopsie. Put this bad boy off again, and here I am. This time I'm in my bed writing this on my phone. Sorry! I'll try to be better and maybe do this earlier in the day.
Near the end of the day I know I usually get depressed, and that's just a chemical thing. I think it's pretty good for introspection still.
This month is NNN, and I can't believe that I have had 3 girls want to break that. Good Lord, since when does that shit happen. I wonder if it's because I've gotten more attractive, or if that's placebo and it's just confidence. I still feel afraid of a lot of things. Oh well, for another day. I guess I'm still figuring out if I feel comfortable talking about sex stuff here.
Situation: Have a date on Tuesday, don't know their level of commitment or investment
Thoughts: feel like I have to interview and secure this, they're the one in power with options.
Feelings: I feel stressed, nervous, anxious and overall like this is transactional
Behavior: I self sabotage, and reinforce toxic views on relationships internally.
Thoughts: women are just like me fr. I also am a big catch, so I am not worried if I don't find anyone right now and then. I'm completely content being single and happy with that, and so I'm under no pressure. I also firmly believe later in life I will have no issues getting a relationship.
Feelings: I feel more in control about things, and also feel more secure overall.
Behavior: I don't sweat thing as much, and I don't feel pressured into anything since I'm fine with any outcome. I'm free.
Love you. Sorry for being abrupt right now, I'll update properly later. Love you forever and always Suman ❤️