Post date recap
I had sex for the first time in a while! I was completely fine and I think there’s a good chance that I’ve gotten over this anxiety. I had a great time, but at the same time I feel like there were several red flags that I am somewhat choosing to overlook, which I’m not super happy with. I remember they had mentioned that they have a self-reported disorganized attachment style, which seems like a nightmare, honestly. They also mentioned that they have some undiagnosed traits of BPD and they do often kind of share some bit of information that is like not really fun to hear, like they mentioned something reminded them of the feeling of Coke on gums? And then they said no it was not them that did it but an ex partner would and I mean, that’s better, but to be so cavalier about that? And I think there are a good amount of things that remind me of my ex, for better or for worse. Like I worry a little about the emotional regulation part is incredibly important. I also think that there are kind of attached to me very quickly and that is not a great sign either.