An Open Letter

Situation: Friend mentioned that they didn’t really want to go to concerts together

Thoughts: There must be some inherent trait about me that makes them not want to do that with me.

Feelings: Feel rejection, and also like there is something I am doing wrong.

Behavior: I get hurt, and I feel this resentment around them because of rejection.

Thoughts: This was them being honest, even if it had to be coerced a bit. That’s something I’m grateful for. Also, we are into very different styles of music – I also know that I usually don’t see friends as people I can be myself at concerts with. If I flip our positions, I would feel much more anxious at the concert and probably not enjoy myself as much if I went with them, or other friends for that matter. There’s nothing wrong with them, I just prefer being alone so I don’t have to worry about behaving a normal way. I can be at whatever energy I want.

Feelings: It’s an uncomfortable thing to hear, but not inherently bad. The only bad thing is the connotation that isn’t even necessarily true.

Behavior: I behave as normal with no resentment.