An Open Letter

My understanding is that humans having sex without the intention of reproducing tricks, the brain and exploits our wiring. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. But I can’t help but see the parallels on how I had casual sex today, and afterwards when I was cuddling with them, I found myself thinking about imagining they were someone I was in a relationship with. Like it was someone different than them. This feels like how I would hug a pillow and sometimes think about hugging my future partner. Except this is a real person, and I just had sex with them. It feels like I’m trying to hack the oxytocin from my brain. But it also feels like I am deceiving this person, and maybe this is just the weird game everyone plays.