An Open Letter

E doesn’t want me to be too close to M, because they don’t want to feel excluded. They’re at no risk of that. At most they just don’t get certain brainrot that M and I share, but that’s not even like a huge part of my humor honestly. But so they don’t want me to really be close friends with them I guess. But also they want to go on double dates and for us to play and shit like that. And they fucking hang out after classes, shes in her room and they talk about shit and they kinda leave me out, she texts E and not me sometimes, and they ahve their classes and fucking all of that. And so I get fucking left out, and to make it worse, I’ve told E about how that shit hurts me and she still goes and fucking does that shit. I don’t know what the fuck is going on with the thing we care about, and instead they go and do shit without me knowing which is whatever, but at least let me fucking interact with M without having to second guess every action. And on top of it, E sent a message after I told her how I felt bad about how “WOAH YOU WANT TO HEAR THIS HOLY SHIT YOU WISH YOU KNEW WHAT HAPPENED” and then goes missing. After I told her I felt left out. Fuck. And in response to me saying that “wow that actually hurt me, we talked about this” they sent a rolling laughing emoji. And went “HAHAHAH”. Fuck off. And the worst part is I can’t even tell her that I feel bad about any of it because she’s just going to be filled with guilt and then I have to go and comfort her. God I just want my feelings to be validated, and for her to listen and actually LISTEN. Like I told her earlier, and she immediately went and a few hours later herself fucking did that shit. Like I know she doesn’t mean to do anything hurtful but fuck man that shit hurts me. And then who am I supposed to talk to about it?

It sucks because she is excited about having a friend and felt bad about being excluded a bit because of me and M making similar jokes. Got to go.