An Open Letter

Currently, I’m at 245/270/380 – 895. When I say it like that, it’s horrifying: within 30 days I’m supposed to add 105 lbs to that? My current plan is if I can get squat to 315, and deadlift to 405 then that’s 965. I think I may be able to do that, squat is the one I’m most afraid of, but deadlift is also not guaranteed. But even after that, I then have to add 35 lbs somewhere. I think I may be able to squeeze out another 10 lbs on bench maybe, and then I’m praying I can somehow just fit on the additional 25 lbs.

I’m worried that if I don’t hit it in one year, I’ll blame myself because I could have taken it more serious. If I got enough sleep and ate properly, I think I would have. I was pretty lazy. I feel myself preemptively beating myself up, which isn’t a good sign. I don’t want to be haunted by my inaction.