An Open Letter

Recently for the last few days I’ve had a strange urge to write. I have never written before, but I find myself thinking about little scenarios to just try to write something about. I think reading books has made me somewhat inspired, but I definitely know that just like any other creative project it will fall miles short of where I aim. I guess this is somewhat tied into the concept of perfectionism, and how that’s just writer’s block repackaged. I need to get over my fear of making things badly, or doing things badly overall I guess.

Since stopping powerlifting, I’ve felt kinda shitty about the gym. Losing the super strict regimen has led me to cut some corners here and there, and with the non powerlifting planning I definitely don’t progress nearly as fast. Today I hit a PR I guess, because I benched 235x3. I weirdly feel like this is somewhat representative of other aspects of my life – struggling to love things if I am no longer good at them. I used to be way better at overwatch, but now I’m bad, and it kinda sucks. It’s nice to be right there with my friends, but I also kinda miss the ability to just try and win. There are several other things in life where I am not as good as I’d like to be, and I want to figure out a way to stay motivated to those things too.

I hope I write something down here.