An Open Letter

I ended up writing this as a blog post because it’s both vulnerable, but also something potentially weird to mention to you so I wanted to leave it in this weird limbo of a medium, where I can later decide whether or not to send you a link to it.

I just got out of my therapy session and talked for nearly the entire time about some uncomfortable feelings I’d been harboring for a while, and she started to talk to me about attachment theory and how that was relevant. As I got to understand more about myself and why I feel the way I do, one takeaway was how comfortable I feel around you. I feel like I can be myself, both the good and the bad parts of me – you’ve made a very safe and inviting place for me and I really wanted to thank you for that. A consistent thing I always reflect on after interacting with you is how safe it is for me to express myself and to figure stuff out, and that honestly comes through difficult and uncomfortable things that you’ve done, like opening up, being radically honest about private things, or even making mistakes and showing me that it’s ok to not be a perfect human being.

I know I’ve said this more than enough times, but I realized I’ve been almost suppressing how sad I am that you’re going to be gone physically for 4 months, but I’d rather this be a happy thing. I’m looking forward to seeing plenty of pictures and videos from Europe, and I’d also like to call at least once in a while so it almost feels like we’re just driving around in a car somewhere in Goleta.

I know it’s not a goodbye, but I’ll still miss you dawg