An Open Letter

I’m pretty sleep deprived still so not fully sure what I expect to do with this post, but for some reason I just feel like writing a bit more than one filler sentence. I find myself sometimes still wandering back towards thinking about A, and the stuff that she put me through. Especially afterwards, the gaslighting and the rest of the stuff. I don’t think I deserved it, but I’m thankful that the waves have become more and more spaced, and less devastating when they hit. They’re now just a punch instead of threats of pulling me to the depths. During the cruise, I feel like I got more experience firsthand on how I can actually be someone that people want, both as a friend and as a partner. And also more importantly, I can achieve this by being myself. I can fully “punt” situations, and then way more than I’d think people would go “yeah that was pretty fun!”. I think going forward, I can be the version of myself where I feel comfortable and like I’m actually in my own skin, and still make friends, and meet people – all without having to worry about them really liking me or accidentally acting wrong. I can just be myself. I want to behave that way going forward in my new life, and I hope that I surround myself with a community of friends I love and hopefully meet someone similar!