An Open Letter

I guess the thing that I'm sad about is seeing her backslide. I looked at the criteria for sex addiction and I think it's pretty convincing at least to make a case for it. I think that combined with the substances that I helped her quit, that she relapsed with. I feel like she's grieving a lot of different things and struggling, and it's ending up with her turning to old vices. It makes me sad that I couldn't save her I guess. I know that I have a savior complex, but ultimately it was a toxic relationship to me and I'm glad that I'm out of it. But I wish that things would have played out differently. Not for my sake I guess. I guess it hurts to see someone that I loved falling into negative patterns that don't like. Seeing them relapse in more ways than one. It's really hard to just I guess turn a blind eye, but at the same time it's not my job and I've been burnt enough. I guess it also sucks that I'm never going to get some kind of recognition or validation for the above and beyond I went to try to help her. I guess that's what love is, doing things for the other persons interest and that alone. I wanted to help her get clean for her sake, even though I knew that we would break up. I absolutely did love her. But I can't stay in this situation that consistently keeps hurting me. I hope that something changes for her and she eventually learns. I really wish the best for her, but I also hope that I don't hear about her again.