Would you rather hate me or yourself
I asked someone this question recently, and they answered themselves. Because of that I decided to give up on them in a way.
I asked because we're lab partners for a class now, and it's a class they're very scared of. There's a lot of things in life where you can either be afraid and do it anyway, or you can avoid forever. I think this is one of those things, and inherently I want to help push this friend to see how they're capable of these things. But I've definitely realized you can lead a horse to the water but can't make it drink. I've done a lot for this person's sake, and they haven't capitalized on it. When I asked them the question, to me it was because I can keep trying to push them, and they might hate me for causing them stress. But also I think in a month or two if I don't push them they're going to spiral pretty bad because their insecurities are coming true. And even worse, in a few years they're going to struggle very hard in life, and I don't think they'll realize why. I don't want this stuff to happen to anyone, let alone a friend. But they don't want this right now. I don't think they have the foresight to recognize the danger they're putting themselves in. It's only going to get harder every time they reinforce this behavior. I'd help them if they wanted the help, but they don't.
I decided I'll let my future self suffer a little bit as I'll have to spend a lot more time on the class, but I can handle that. I just feel pity for what's going to happen to them. I tried.