An Open Letter

But at least I shot once lol.

I decided to use this crisis as incentive to try things I've been wanting to, and one of those was basketball. I already signed up for the novice League again I wanted to practice a bit and have some fun with it as a form of cardio. Today And got a basketball, and since all the main courts were full I went to the Mac. Still all the courts were full but there was one with a guy just shooting by himself. I really wanted to just leave and keep walking around until I can convince myself to leave, but I realized I am being a pussy and this is how socialization happens. It's only unknown the first time you do it. And so I went and I asked the guy and he gave me a thumbs up and so I just had my headphones on and I listened to my podcast while shooting. I think I missed every single layup which is impressive, but at least a few threes went in!

After a while I was pretty tired, but some guy came up to me and asked me if I wanted to run fours. I'll be honest I thought he meant 2v2 but he meant 4v4 which I guess was better but another thing that caught me off guard lol. I told him I was complete dog shit and brand new, and he said yeah that's chill and so even though I knew I was going to bomb I joined. For most of the time I kind of just passed the ball back and forth and tried to rebound where I could, and I was fucking gassed out of my mind. After the 15-point game ended, even while sitting down my face was throbbing lol. But it was that easy. And I mean it can't really get much worse can it? I literally threw one of the passes too far and it went out of bounds, I rebounded once, and then I just kept passing the ball back and forth. Halfway through the game I literally wasn't able to run to the offensive side lol. I'm still super happy I did it.

I know the academic studies back me up on the fact how my generation is one of the most rejected, there is a loneliness crisis, and of course my childhood is not doing me many favors there. But I still today at least met and interacted with five new people, and I even made one friend from just being receptive to it. A guy was doing bulgarian split squats next to me, and asked me for advice and I told him I had no fucking clue either LOL. His name was M, and we just talked about a different exercises specifically for the glutes because both of us are weak there lol. I also found out he's graduating and I made a comment about how I'm going to miss the arbor, and he mentioned getting a Subway before classes. I told him about the subway coupon code and it blew his mind, and little mums like this remind me on how unpredictable small talk is, but how easy it is to make friends at the end of the day. It's kind of just a pattern of being open to it, and just practicing being out of your comfort zone. I think I'm most proud of myself for the instances where it doesn't work. Because that means even without the reinforcement I still try. And when it works it feels great! Life doesn't have to be so lonely surrounded by so many people. Just keep reminding yourself about how the people you cherish now are the people you never in a thousand years would have picked out in a room at first. At the end of the day you really cannot know someone until you get to know them.